


play house

by dami_an



Series: drib and drab [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Fukuroudani-centric, M/M, bokuroo bromance is lyfe, hinata is precious, no it's not a real marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 03:12:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10676508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dami_an/pseuds/dami_an
Summary: It starts with Kuroo throwing in a stupid joke—it's always been Kuroo, that pain-in-the-ass captain of Nekoma, and Akaashi has never been so annoyed to the point he wants to strangle that sneaky man but refrains himself only because that'd make Bokuto depressed.Or in which, Akaashi is accidentally married to Bokuto and has a son named Hinata, loved dearly by his owl uncles, all thanks to Kuroo's stupid joke.





	play house

 

 

It starts with Kuroo throwing in a stupid joke—it's always been Kuroo, that pain-in-the-ass captain of Nekoma, and Akaashi has never been so annoyed to the point he wants to strangle that sneaky man but refrains himself only because that'd make Bokuto depressed.

Akaashi is trying to reason with Bokuto when Kuroo stares at them through the net, as he always does, accompanied by a mischievous glint in his eyes and a smirk, before he says, "Confirmed, Akaashi, you're totally his wife."

Bokuto freezes, hands in mid-air, and Akaashi feels his heart stop. There's an amused, chuckle-like snort from Tsukishima on Kuroo's left side, muffled poorly by the back of his hand. "It's so true."

The both of them reacts at the same time, "Wife?"

"Wow, look at that. You guys are even synchronized," Kuroo grins, hands spread-eagled, to appear what he believes is sincere. It doesn't. "Ain't that beautiful?"

"I'm—" Akaashi pauses to take a deep breath before he loses his composure. Then he narrows his eyes at Kuroo, his voice firm when he says, "I'm not Bokuto-san's wife."

"Are you kidding me, Akaashi? I mean, you're the only person in this world who's willing to put up with his shit. And believe me, it's not easy to handle a guy like him, having a loose screw and all," Kuroo leers.

That gets on Akaashi's nerves. He can feel a flame licking his insides, shimmering just below his skin. "Bokuto-san is many things, but insane isn't one of them."

"Akaashi," Bokuto gasps, touched.

"Protective of Bokuto-san, aren't we?" Tsukishima interferes. His fingers push the glasses up the bridge of his nose, casting a glint across the lens. He must have developed some negative moral from Kuroo, being his disciple. "I hate to break this to you, Akaashi-san, but that just confirmed Kuroo-san's stupid joke."

"Hey, it wasn't stupid, okay? It was a fucking brilliant deduction," Kuroo cuts in, offended. "Anyway, just admit it, Akaashi, you care too much for this idiot. Plus, you make him happy, right, Bo?"

"I'm just—"

Akaashi doesn't get to finish his point because Bokuto has slung an arm around his shoulders. It's heavy, packed with muscles built from impressive spikes but comforting just the same. The grin on his face is blinding as he chirps, "Kuroo's right! You make me super-duper happy, Akaashi! You're awesome. I wouldn't mind getting married to you!"

"Please, Bokuto-san," Akaashi frowns.

"Oh no, he's making that frown again!" Kuroo feigns a gasp, complete with a hand on his lips for a dramatic effect. "Bo, you've gotta turn that frown upside down. It's not good to have your wife frowning at the early stage of marriage. It's a bad omen."

"The honeymoon's over," Tsukishima remarks.

"That quick?!" Bokuto shouts, leaning away in surprise. "We just got married by Kuroo and witnessed by Tsukki in this holy gym! Akaashi, what did I do wrong?!"

"Marriage, Bo, marriage. It's a realm that's totally different from what we used to," Kuroo mourns regretfully. "Try flowers. Blue, to match his eyes. Or green. I got confused—which color was it, Akaashi, blue or green?"

"Jewelry," Tsukishima suggests casually.

"I'm not Bokuto-san's wife." Akaashi makes a way to his bottle.

"Akaashi, don't be like this," Bokuto calls to his back. "What to do, Kuroo, Tsukki? I hate it when he goes to bed angry. And he never wants to have sex anymore."

Akaashi stops dead in track, glances over his shoulder at the smiling faces of Kuroo and Tsukishima and hates them with a fiery passion for planting that idea in Bokuto's head. One day he'll find a perfect place to dump their bodies—oh, Tokyo Bay seems perfect.

"Well, maybe if you could think through your ideas for a minute and realize how insane they were," Akaashi says, "I would stop frowning so much," and then walks to his bottle with as much dignity as he can summon up because he discovered that if he can't win, he better at least play along.

If only he remembered there was a thing called 'consequences'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It spreads among the crazy owls after supper, much to Akaashi's dismay.

"Oh my god, Akaashi, tell your husband to stop playing with his phone already!" Konoha yells from his futon, frustrated. "I'm not a nocturnal creature like him."

Akaashi wants to retort back at Konoha's statement but it's getting late. So, "Time to sleep, Bokuto-san."

"Where's my good night kiss?"

"Sleep, Bokuto-san."

Bokuto sleeps.

 

And—

 

"Bokuto-san, please fold your futon," Akaashi sighs, hand on his left hip as he stares at the unmade futon perched in the middle of the classroom.

"Busy, busy, busy," is Bokuto's reply while he's digging into his bag.

"You gotta train him, Akaashi," Komi says around a mouthful of bun he stole from the cafeteria. It's a wonder how he managed to get past the lady's defense. "You haven't broken his spirit yet, he still thinks he's his own person."

"If there's a reward, then maybe," Bokuto grins, throwing a suggestive wink over his shoulder at Akaashi.

Akaashi makes a dark look. "Fold your futon, Bokuto-san."

A squeak escapes Bokuto, and he runs over to fold his futon in hurry. In the doorway, Sarukui whistles, impressed by Bokuto's unusual obedient, "Or a glare. A glare works too."

 

And—

 

Washio passes him a Fukurodani jacket before their practice begins. "It's Bokuto's. I found it draped over the toilet door."

"Thank you, Washio-san," he says, taking the jacket from Washio as he makes a mental note to remind Bokuto of his carelessness. It's a good thing he wrote Bokuto's name on the inside of the collar, or it'd have been a real mess to get him a new jacket.

There's a set of loud footsteps pounding on the floor, followed by a shout, "Akaashi, have you seen my jacket?! I couldn't find it anywhere—AAAHHH! My jacket! You have my jacket! You're a godsend, Akaashi!"

"Actually, it's Washio-san who found it," Akaashi replies.

When Bokuto looks at him with a grin, Washio puts on a disapproving look. "Take care of your own things, Bokuto. Stop relying too much on your wife."

Bokuto laughs sheepishly. "Noted."

"I'm not—whatever," Akaashi lets out a sigh.

 

And—

 

Akaashi notices that Onaga has been busy with his phone recently, which is a strange behavior for the first-year. He peaks over Onaga's shoulder to confirm his suspicion but not close enough to be able to read the text in favor of respecting him. "You've been texting a lot."

Onaga looks up from his phone. "Ah, yes, Akaashi-san. It's just a girl from my class."

"Girlfriend?"

"No. Bokuto-san's secret admirer. I told her that he's married to you, and that broke her heart," he answers, gullible, loud enough for the team to hear and cause Konoha spitting out his drink and Komi and Sarukui laughing.

"Why did you do that?" Akaashi asks in disbelief. "We're just—"

"This is gold," Komi manages between a fit of laughter.

Bokuto drapes himself over Akaashi's side, grinning. "It's alright, it's alright! My heart has no room for anyone but my wife, Akaashi!"

Regret is thick in Akaashi's chest, and his resigned sigh is lost in loud gales of laughter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then it becomes worse when Kuroo decides to put Hinata into the ridiculous equation by saying, "Oya oya, a father-son bonding moment?" so loud and clear that it stumps the 3rd gym into silence. Akaashi maps out the entire school plan in his mind for a perfect place to hide Kuroo's body.

"Bonding moment? Father-son?" Lev pipes up.

"Kuroo-san, can you not?" Akaashi asks, peeved.

"I don't follow you, Kuroo!" Bokuto raises his hand like a child asks for permission to speak. Hinata fidgets next to him, lost and confused by the whole ordeal, so the stupid joke hasn't reached Karasuno—good grief.

"Aw, can't you see it, Bo, the amazing picture that you're painting here with Chibi-chan?" Kuroo snickers. When Bokuto innocently shakes his head, he carries on, "Imagine this, my brother from another mother; you and Akaashi decide to have a child after three days of your marriage. And then a child comes through that door, all smiling and pure and energetic, things that you could've hoped for a child, saying 'please adopt me!' in his loud, cheerful voice. Then you find a wonderful rhythm with this child, in sync and happy, and you see your wife, Akaashi, smiling so much and you realize that three of you can be happy together."

Akaashi can sense where this is going if Kuroo's smirk and the twinkle in Bokuto's eyes are indications. "Kuroo-san—"

"And imagine that this wonderful child is actually Chibi-chan, sent down to be the light of your little family!"

"WHOA~!" Bokuto erupts in excitement. Then he whirls around to Hinata, lands his large hands on Hinata's much smaller shoulders and screams, "Would you like to be our son?!"

Hinata blinks, clueless. "Eh?"

"Hah, an idiotic son and father, that's just perfect," Tsukishima snorts into the back of his hand.

"I promise we'll take care of you! You can have your favorite meal every day, you can play with us every day, you can play in real matches with us, and you can do whatever you want every day!" Bokuto's grip on his shoulders is possibly growing stronger if Hinata's pale face is anything to go by. "Akaashi, can you make Hinata transfer to our school?! I'll talk to Karasuno's captain right away! And Coach too, so he can recruit Hinata! And ah, Hinata's parents, Akaashi, can you ask them if they're willing to share Hinata with us? I promise I won't ask Hinata to change his family name and send him back every weekend—"

Akaashi huffs into his towel, catching Kuroo's faint chuckles. Right, how far is Tokyo Bay from Saitama again?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"This is not fair," Komi grumbles, a hand on his hip while the other is carrying his breakfast tray. "You guys didn't see fit to mention to me that I had a nephew all along?"

Bokuto looks up from his rice bowl, chopsticks between his lips, "Ah, you mean Hinata? Sorry about that, it slipped my mind."

"Bokuto-san, we're not adopting Hinata. Or anyone, for that matter," Akaashi intervenes.

Komi definitely ignores Akaashi's reply. "Slipped my mind—are you for real, Bokuto? Not only I missed Akaashi's baby bump, I missed the baby shower and the birth and all his birthdays! Can you freaking imagine how many presents I owe your son now?! 16 presents, Bokuto, sixteen! Two digits."

"Did I hear 'Akaashi's baby bump'? Is this about our precious nephew?" Sarukui chimes in, heading for their table with his own breakfast tray. "Got any picture, Bokuto?"

Akaashi can feel a headache coming. A massive one. "I never had a baby bump, Sarukui-san. That's just impossible."

"I probably need to dig around, but gimme some days, I'm sure it'll turn up," Bokuto promises, with a blinding smile and all. "Akaashi was so beautiful, y'know. And Hinata, he's the light of our life. You should've seen him when he was trying to crawl into my arms."

"Pictures, Bokuto," Sarukui reminds him.

"There never was a picture," Akaashi protests, sighing but falls on deaf ears.

 

And—

 

Konoha approaches them during a break between matches. He points his thumb over his shoulder at Hinata, who's playing against Shinzen. "Hey, that nephew of mine, I was wondering if I could be his godfather. He's a real ball of sunshine."

"Ah, that," Bokuto hums, thinking, "I was thinking of asking Washio to be his godfather."

"Gladly." Washio slaps a hand on Bokuto's back and proceeds to get his bottle. Bokuto gives a thumbs-up.

"WHAT?! But why?!"

"I don't want you to taint my only son. Hinata's too pure for you," Bokuto decides.

"What the fuck?! Why the fuck would I do that?" Konoha jabs at Bokuto's chest, once, twice, thrice, and more, furious. "This is a discrimination! Unacceptable! Do you hold grudges against me or what?! Do you—"

Bokuto's laugh fades behind him as Akaashi takes his leave from this madness.

 

And—

 

Onaga has a troubled look when he calls for Akaashi.

"What is it?" Akaashi asks.

"Uhm, I'm confused," Onaga starts, rubbing the back of his head, "What should I call Hinata? I mean, he's a first-year like me, and—"

Akaashi heaves a sigh—this insanity is too much for his rational brain. He gives Onaga a resigned look and says, "I'm thoroughly defeated," before he pivots on his heel, rendering Onaga more confused than ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It happens without him realizing it—the perfect picture of their little family in his mind. Akaashi doesn't mean to picture it in his mind. Akaashi doesn't mean to stare at Bokuto as he talks animatedly to Hinata. Akaashi doesn't mean to capture that moment and file it away in his mind. Akaashi doesn't mean to wonder what would happen if they were to have a real family together, would Bokuto-san be smiling so broadly like this, would Bokuto-san be laughing so freely like this, would they be so happy together—

"Oh no," he gasps to himself.

Tsukishima raises a brow, "Something wrong, Akaashi-san?"

"I think I just destroyed some of my own brain cells."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The joke continues, but this time, it follows by some effect. On him.

Akaashi becomes hyper aware of Bokuto's presence. He can feel his pulse racing every time Bokuto's radiant smile is directed at him, can feel a slow burn settle deep into his skin every time Bokuto touches him, can feel a shudder traveling down his back and curling up into a warm sensation at the base of his spine every time Bokuto gives him a celebratory hug.

The worst part is that Akaashi seeks them without meaning to. It's as though there's a pull drawn him towards Bokuto. It's as though his admiration that he reserved for Bokuto has curdled into something… sweeter.

"Akaashi?"

The whisper brings Akaashi's head around to the general direction of Bokuto's futon. It's dark but half Bokuto's face is dappled with pale moonlight streaming through the curtain, so Akaashi can see a flash of worry in those golden-colored eyes.

"You haven't slept, Bokuto-san?"

"Can't sleep."

"Why?"

"Been thinking."

"Of what?"

"Of you."

Akaashi feels his breath hitch at that. He dives deeper into his futon to hide his warm cheek even if Bokuto can't see him. He takes a breath to calm himself. "Have I done something wrong, Bokuto-san?"

"No, it's just—" Bokuto hesitates, "You've been distracted today. Like you were there but you really weren't. Why was that?"

"Oh," is all Akaashi manages, too surprised by Bokuto's unusual sharp observation.

"Was it because of the joke?"

"Huh?"

"Kuroo's joke about us getting married. About having Hinata as our son. Were you distracted because of that joke? Do you hate it? I can tell them to stop joking about that if you wanted to."

Akaashi blinks at that. True, he got distracted because of that joke, by the ridiculous picture his mind came up with, evoked by the joke. But that wasn't Bokuto's fault. He played along because it was fun and brought laughter and Bokuto enjoyed a good laugh. And he's not going to stomp that down.

"You don't have to do that, Bokuto-san. It's fine."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Do you like the joke?"

"It's… amusing."

"Oh."

"Yes."

There's a beat of silence, long enough to make Akaashi think that Bokuto has fallen asleep before it's broken by another whisper from Bokuto, "Akaashi."

"Yes, Bokuto-san."

"Can I move into your futon?"

Akaashi's heart skips a few beats. "Oh?"

"I promise I won't take up so much space. Please?"

The hopeful tone in Bokuto's voice tears down every inch of walls Akaashi has built over years. He lets out a sigh, a pleased sigh, thinks that he should be enjoying this warm sensation, and says, "Sure, Bokuto-san."

Bokuto wastes no time in slithering into Akaashi's futon. They settle on their sides, facing each other, all curled up under the blanket. Akaashi can feel his back exposed to the air because Bokuto hogs the blanket and there's some part of his body touching the cold floor because the futon isn't made to accommodate two teenagers, but Akaashi can't pay heed to his discomfort when he's too content to hear Bokuto's childish-like giggles.

"Akaashi?"

"Yes, Bokuto-san?" he replies, almost breathless because now he can feel Bokuto's warm breath ghosting over his cheek. It's very distracting.

"I like this."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, imagine their looks in the morning later. It'd be funny."

In honesty, Akaashi can only imagine the teasing he's going to face later and he's not really looking forward to it. But it makes Bokuto happy and excited, so, "Yes, Bokuto-san, it'd be funny."

That night, Akaashi sleeps with a smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

None of them are going to let him live it down after that. Komi even has a picture of them curling up around each other as a proof and sets it as his wallpaper just to mess with him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The camp has come to end, eventually. The rest has left to gather at the parking lot, leaving only Akaashi and Bokuto to pack their things in the room. Akaashi catches Bokuto staring out of the window from the corner of his eye and asks, "You alright, Bokuto-san?"

Bokuto shakes his head and continues packing but Akaashi knows that look too well. He stops his doing and goes to Bokuto's side. Akaashi takes hold of Bokuto's wrist. "Are you sad about going home?"

Bokuto shakes his head.

"What is it, then?"

"It's Hinata," Bokuto whispers.

"What about him?"

"Will he be alright? He needs to beat Ushiwaka to go to nationals. Hinata's awesome but Ushiwaka's a monster. I don't know if Hinata can beat him. I don't know if Hinata—"

"Bokuto-san."

It prompts Bokuto looking at him. His eyes aren't shining as usual, and that gives Akaashi a pang of hurt. Akaashi rubs his thumb at Bokuto's inner wrist soothingly. "Has Hinata promised you to play you in a real match?"

Bokuto nods.

"Did you promise him the same thing?"

Another nod.

Akaashi cups Bokuto's cheek with his other hand and smiles, "Then, we need to work hard together so you can keep your words and see him at nationals."

Bokuto is silent at first, wide-eyed before a soft smile pulls at his lips and a rough palm covers the back of his hand on Bokuto's cheek. Bokuto's fingers are shorter than his own but that's okay—these fingers have contributed so many victories to their team, these fingers have drawn goosebumps across Akaashi's skin and these fingers belong to Bokuto, so Akaashi doesn't mind the difference.

"You're the man, Akaashi. I'm so glad I married you."

It's a stupid joke started by Kuroo-pain-in-the-ass-san, and it's probably true in Bokuto's case—just a joke and nothing else. But it warms Akaashi's insides all the same, and he gladly takes what he can get.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Do you think if I could ask our bus to catch up with Karasuno's so I can take Hinata away?"

"That's called kidnapping, Bokuto-san. It's a crime."

"But he's our son! We have rights!!!"

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'ed
> 
> told you, bokuaka = hinata is my canon
> 
> am in love with fukurodani
> 
> tumblr: [weirdgrammar](www.weirdgrammar.tumblr.com)


End file.
